Customer Reviews:
Showing reviews 1-5 of 68
 A gentle start on the road to recovery March 29, 2001
157 out of 159 found this review helpful
Excellent book for those who don't know why their lives are a mess, why they keep getting into abusive relationships, why they don't laugh & have fun like other people, people who tear themselves apart for every imagined or real mistake, those who feel inferior and worthless, those like me who have always guessed (often incorrectly) at what normal is. Finally here are the answers millions of people need to let go of their crippling past and rediscover their future--one they want to be part of instead of dreading more of the same misery. The authors have been where we are, they know what they are talking about, they are US too. They have experience, compassion & empathy. They lovingly & gently open the doors to the truth for us, and this book could cause you to feel sad, angry, bitter, depressed but the next page will fill you with realistic hope (not the irrational hopes we're used to), belief in a happy future for yourself, motivation to start the journey of recovery from childhood abuse, neglect, trauma, denial, pain, etc. There is a thorough section on recovery groups and what to expect, how it works and so on, so that strangers to recovery will know what to expect, and maybe feel better about taking that 1st step--going to a meeting, finding a therapist, joining a group, reading books & workbooks, reaching out to safe others for support & more. I highly recommend this book to any one from a substance-abuse type family background, but also to people from dysfunctional families as well since all of the same principles apply. I also recommend Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families to those who can't relate to an alcoholic background at all, but who maybe grew up with an over-eating parent, an absent father, a mentally ill caretaker, etc. This is a gentle start for even the most recovery-resistant person. For myself, this book helped me see myself as that little terrified, abused child who was helpless, needy, neglected & denied, and begin to want to love, hug & heal MY inner self instead of running to rescue everyone else, for a change. It's my turn, and thanks to that book I finally believe in my journey and my future. I hope you will take the step and see for yourself what truths lay waiting to bring you relief & understanding.
Opened my eyes February 28, 2003
P. Abell (Astoria, NY USA)
36 out of 38 found this review helpful
I swear this book was written about me. It opened my eyes to ways I deal with and approach life, so that now I feel clearer and have some answers. Anyone who has an alcoholic parent should read this book, because even if you think it didn't effect you, you might be wrong.
Just Perfect September 5, 1999
36 out of 38 found this review helpful
I cry every time I read this bok, because everything it says is true. I always knew that I had problems but I couldn't link them with anything. Now that I have this book, however, I can relate to everything and now I know why I have such a low self esteem. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK TO ANYONE WHO HAS GONE THROUGH THE EXPERIENCE OF BEING AN ADULT CHILD OF AN ALCOHOLIC! You would never think that your problems aren't your fault, but this book shows you otherwise! This book tells you So much about yourself that you would never ever know otherwise. It is a perfect work of literature.
The catalyst for a personal paradigm shift February 7, 1999
Thomas E. Murphy (Denver, CO)
28 out of 29 found this review helpful
Before reading this book I had taken the terrifying step of seeing a therapist for my chronic depression and low self-esteem. Until you read a book like this it seems an alien concept that there might be people out there having almost exactly the same experiences. It's a short book so you have no excuse for not reading it. This book, so simple and accurate, will change the way you look at your life and perhaps change the way you live it. If you're the adult child of an alcoholic and you haven't looked for help do that first or do that in conjunction with reading this book. You have the rest of your life to live and this book brings to light a common problem in our society long left unrecognized and ignored.
For ACoAs, those in relationships with them, & therapists March 1, 1999
22 out of 22 found this review helpful
This book was instrumental in helping me link current behaviors to past events experienced as a child of an alcoholic family. I always new unhealthy behaviors I practice today were a result of my early experiences, but I had never thought through the correlations thoroughly. This book did that for me. Now instead of thinking in general terms such as "I act like this because I'm from a dysfunctional family," I can think, "I act like x,y, or z, because I experienced/learned/internalized x, y, or z." It enabled me to view my current behaviors as normal for someone who experienced what I did...discovering the specific correlations and that I was normal provided a big relief. As a beginning psychotherapist, it synthesized the signs that may enable me to recognize a client who is an ACoA, as many individuals, unfortunately, are not forthcoming with this information, and a therapist unfamiliar with characteristics of ACoAs may misdiagnosis what is going on with his/her client if s/he is not aware that the client comes from this type of background. If you are an ACoA, give this book to significant others in your life so that they can understand why you behave the way you do at times.
Showing reviews 1-5 of 68
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