Customer Reviews:
Showing reviews 1-5 of 18
 Potent, accurate, helpful! April 9, 2009
JES (GA USA)
12 out of 12 found this review helpful
If you want powerful accuracy in a Christian setting this is the book! I also highly recommend getting the workbook to go along with it.
I got this book because of a friend's recommendation, and I'm so glad I did. Though I was offended at first (I realized later I wasn't at a point where I wanted to hear the truth). I put down the book for a couple of years until I wanted to try processing it again.
Please understand dealing with the issues in this book is HARD WORK! So if you need a break--take it. Honestly, the difficulty is not with the book, it's with the process of facing the truth.
I'm going through this book for the 3rd time now and still gaining more healing with it. I've also bought this book for several friends because I find it to be the most helpful in dealing with the results of abuse. I've also given it to my husband and some of my close friends for them to read to understand me and what I deal with better. And now I'm working with my church to start the Wounded Heart seminar. :)
Just remember, if you do get this book (and I hope you do), take your time and don't give up. It's worth it.
A Must Read For Mental Health Counselors December 10, 2008
Deedra Hunter (Daytona Beach, FL)
8 out of 8 found this review helpful
I am a mental health counselor who specializes in abuse victims. The
Wounded Heart is the best book I have ever read on this topic and I recommend it to all my clients. Thank you Dr. Allender for your wisdom and insight.
Deedra Hunter, M.S.,LMHC
Absolutely most helpful book on this subject September 11, 2009
renatae33 (Midwest USA)
5 out of 5 found this review helpful
"The Wounded Heart" is a love letter beneficial to any person suffering from victimization, although it is specifically written to the victims of sexual abuse. Written in captivating and empathetic style by Dr. Dan B. Allender, (M. Div. and Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology) it must be put down regularly in order to take in small doses the healing offered therein.
Not content to simply ruminate on the past, this book deals with the current relationships in the life of the abused, most particularly, what Dr. Allender calls the "Abuser Surrogate" because the cycle so often repeats itself throughout the lives of victims because of the repercussions of abuse. He has words for the victim as well as to the "surrogate" who may be very abusive him/herself or may just need encouragement in helping the relationship recover from the effects of abuse.
Of all the "interventions" I have known and experienced, "The Wounded Heart" is the most genuinely insightful of them all. Free of pop psychology and psychobabble, it delves into the reality of the victim. This resource sheds forgiveness, hope and encouragement abroad in the heartsick soul. It encourages the heart to dare to dream of a time when life will no longer be ruled by a reactionary lifestyle. It emboldens the heart to dare to hope, to dare to trust, and to dare to leave behind contempt for itself and contempt for others.
Such aspirations are lost in an earlier lifetime for most victims of sexual abuse. They are often encouraged to think that the route to healing is as simple as "forgiving yourself" and remembering where to place the blame. However, this self-forgiveness often comes across as a blanket statement that nothing one can do after victimization is really blameworthy. At first taste, the idea is sweet in the mouth. Deep inside, the wounded heart knows better. No stranger to abuse, Dr. Allender knows it, too. He says, in effect, "Let's take a look and what happened, how you have coped, use this knowledge, and learn to move beyond any self-defeating maladaptations."
I know of no other single resource that has helped so many to heal and to move on out of the quagmire of hopelessness and false bravado.
The initial chapters deal with the dynamics and damage of abuse. From there, Dr. Allender moves into giving insight into how the experiences have influenced the personality in negative fashions. The path sheds light on ways the heart distances itself from all relationships, thus sealing itself away from future beneficial ones right along with those with potential for pain. Finally the reader is lead into the chapters which deal extensively with overcoming this fear of cultivating genuinely intimate relationships with families and friends, including a dynamite chapter entitled "The Unlikely Route to Joy."
An excellent group resource, there is also a workbook available, "The Wounded Heart: A Companion Workbook for Personal or Group Use" which aids in discussion and in setting down on paper one's unique experiences, reactions, feelings, and present-day repercussions.
Written by a committed Christian, there is balm enough within to soothe the hearts of all who open its covers.
Wonderful tool April 25, 2009
Teresa J. Hammitt (Los Lunas, NM United States)
3 out of 3 found this review helpful
I read this book years ago and it helped open up the understanding of how the sexual abuse I had went through as a young teen affected everything in my life from relationships to decisions. I thought I had "put it all in the past" and "was pressing forward" but this book helped me to see that the pain, shame, and defenses I had put up were all part of my every day life. Once I was able to see that, I then could go forward towards true and complete healing. The changes that were brought about from that were amazing and obvious to those around me. I'm now having more women enter my life who have been sexually abused and I am back to purchasing this book for their use. For some, the book will be sufficient. For others, it will be as it was for me - a stepping stone to getting more help. It's a painful process but well worth the freedom at the end and Dan Allender does a wonderful job in his book in helping us toward that freedom.
Offers path for healing in dealing with painful past October 28, 2009
Aqua Girl (Las Vegas, NV USA)
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
The biggest breakthrough I achieved in reading this book is learning that Forgiving does not mean Forgetting. I can achieve my own healing over time and with counseling and I can forgive my abuser but I am not required by God to pretend the abuse never happened. I encourage anyone who has suffered sexual abuse as a child to read this if they want to gain understanding for what happened, what they felt, and want to move their lives forward in search of healing.
This book provides a path to healing that involves confronting the abuser in an effort to allow the abuser to take responsibility and find forgiveness and healing as well if they desire it.
I consider myself a well adjusted individual but recognize damage exists from past abuse and affects my every day relationships (personally and professionally) in subtle ways I never realized until I read this. I am working to overcome the shame involved with having been abused and my abuser is now reading this book as well as seeing a counselor to address the past.
I also recommend the dvd's.
Showing reviews 1-5 of 18
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