Dear Parent: Caring for Infants With Respect (2nd Edition)

Magda taught me that if I fully focused on my baby during "caring times" (feeding, diapering, bathing), I didn't have to 'teach' her how to sit, crawl, walk, talk or play. When she was ready to do those things, she did so naturally. And she owned them. I learned to let my child's play time be hers, a time to follow her own curiosity and direciton without interruption. The joy I found in observing my child and her discoveries helped me to survive the loneliness and doldrums of parenting an infant/toddler. My child is still inclined to spend long periods of time without TV, videos, or suggestions from me, entertaining and educating herself with self-initiated activities, creations, and daydreams.

"DEAR PARENT" is packed with Magda Gerber's wisdom from a lifetime of observations and writings. It can change forever the way you view infants, toddlers, all other human beings. Communicating with your child, taking his or her unspoken feelings into account from Day One, establishes a relationship based on mutual respect. This book is the perfect gift for a new or expectant parent, especially one who is willing to use common sense in parenting, foregoing all the latest baby gimmicks and contraptions. "DEAR PARENT" will inspire you (as Magda says) to "do less, enjoy more".


If I were an infant, I would want to be treated this way   June 3, 2003
Jennifer and Mia (Portland, OR United States)
18 out of 18 found this review helpful

Gerber's recommendations for caring for infants are direct and to the point, without the "come on, just try it" tone that baby experts sometimes fall into. She doesn't need to talk me into using her approach because it struck me immediately on a gut level that if I were an infant, I would want to be treated this way. Heck, as an adult I want to be treated this way.

She recommends simple, profound gestures that you can use from day one to show your infant that her feelings and preferences are important to you. They include telling your baby what you are going to do before you do it [ie. "Mommy's going to pick you up now"] and other basic ways to connect with your baby as a separate being rather than an object.

I've read Dr. Sears, Burton White, Penelope Leach, and others. There's useful nuts-and-bolts stuff with those other authors, but Magda Gerber's "Dear Parent: Caring for Infants with Respect" is a must-have addition to your parenting library.

This book takes a couple of hours to read and will make a huge improvement in my approach to parenting.


A Must for Everybody Having a Baby!   July 10, 2000
Julie A. Hager (Germany)
16 out of 16 found this review helpful

Magda Gerder's approach to caring for an infant with respect is a WONDERFUL approach to parenting. I am so glad I found this book. If you're looking for a parenting book from birth to age 3, GET THIS!!! It is worth reading!! The nuts and bolts to Gerber's approach is treating your baby like a person- with RESPECT. She explains the importance of observing, how to handle those "sticky" situations (for example when your child bits), and why it is important to talk to your baby. Gerbers idea of respecting an infant sounds "commen sense" but you realize when you read this how often parents are not necessarily "respectful". In this day of running here and there, Gerber slows us parents down and brings a true enjoyment to being parents. Her approach to parenting is not only respectful to the infant but also to the parent! In the end you have a child that respects you and you that respect the child- not so bad!! I have a truelly wonderful relationship with my daughter, thank you Magda Gerber. I highly recommend this book!


An easy-to-follow, profoundly insightful guide to parenting.   October 15, 1999
Alexandra Booke (Los Angeles)
13 out of 13 found this review helpful

This book serves as a perfect introduction to the ideas of Magda Gerber and RIE (Resources for Infant Educaring). As the mother of a 21 month-old, I would have been completely lost without the guidance of this innovative approach to caring for very young children. Magda Gerber taught me how to sit still and observe my child and allow him to grow in his own way and pace. The philosophy is the ideal antidote to today's overstressed, overscheduled style of parenting. And best of all, it is the only approach I've found which takes parents' needs into account. The book helps parents set limits and care for themselves too. An ideal baby gift for new parents!


Our Secret Guide to successful child   September 15, 2006
Jin G. Ishimoto (CA United States)
4 out of 4 found this review helpful

My wife and I followed Magda's philosphy (RIE) for our daughter since she was 3 months old. Now that she's almost 3 years old, all we can say is this book made us better parents, and as a result, our daughter is a healthy, self-confident and social child that she is today. Even our 6 hour drive from LA to San Franciso, she required no DVDS nor annoying noise making toys to occupy herself -- instead she was happy to entertain herself by singing, looking at the scenaries, and asking questions about what she saw. Many parents tell us how perfect our daughter is -- and it's all because of this book. If you follow this book, you realize that good parenting doesn't mean providing passive entertainment for the child, but to provide environment where she can grow at her own pace and explore the world as it meant to be. This book changed our life for better, and made pareting easy for the first time parents like us.